Alarm Fatigue by Barbara Rachel EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Status: Available for Free Download
- Authors: Barbara Rachel
- Language: English
- Genre: contemporary romance
- Format: PDF / EPUB
- Size: 3.8 MB
- Price: Free
As the bell above the door startles me back to the cafe, I look up to see
a young woman wrestling a stroller across the threshold. She is not
the person I am looking for. Straightening up in my chair, I settle
back into my own thoughts and continue to wait.
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The truth is, I do not want to be here. I can hear the clock over the
cashier’s head ticking the seconds away as I become increasingly restless.
Was that clock always this loud? I have been to this cafe before, but
somehow I have never noticed the audible clock of doom. This continued
waiting has me pressed to the limits of my patience. I did promise my
daughters and Amalie, my best and most persistent friend, that I would at
least try going on a few dates.
Three dates, to be precise. In actuality, I had
to promise I would go because I really had no choice; they ganged up on
me, in a well-meaning sort of way. They say that they are trying to pull me
back into ‘life and living,’ at least that is how they had phrased it. For my
part, I feel quite strongly that getting out of my home and participating in
so-called life, for that, read dating, is highly overrated. The truth is that all I
desire in this life is to hide out in my work or with my family, and otherwise
shelter in place at home.
The reason why I often choose to hide myself away is because, to put it
plainly, the first part of my life was horrible. I survived, obviously, but only
in a manner of speaking. The experiences of my formative years have left
me emotionally scarred and socially awkward. During most social
situations I vacillate between total brain freezing with nothing to contribute,
or talking too much with a sprinkling of a tendency to say the most
inappropriate or irrelevant facts that pop into to my mind.
What I have come to understand about traumatic experiences is that
they are subjective. Setting aside my less-than-stellar-childhood, there were
more recent events that drove me back into a more introverted sort of life.
Not for the first time I wish my family, and my friend, really understood
how important it is to me that I feel comfortable in my life as I designed it.
From my perspective, the ability for me to feel safe is paramount, and
getting out there and dating is the absolute last priority on my bucket list.
Well, if I had a bucket list, it probably would not even be on it.
I suppose the more recent events I am referring to are actually not even
that recent anymore. It has now been nine years since my husband, my
beloved Eli, died unexpectedly. And it has been many more years since I
escaped my childhood home.
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