Chameleon in a Candy Store by Anonymous EPUB & PDF

Chameleon in a Candy Store by Anonymous EPUB & PDF

• Status: Available For Free Download
• Authors: Anonymous
• Language: English
• Genre: Romance Literary Fiction
• Format: PDF / EPUB
• Size: 2 MB
• Price: Free

I knew if I wanted to have sex with a girl within the first three seconds of
meeting her.
After that, it was just a matter of how much I was willing to put up with to
make it happen. This period of putting up with their bullshit was what women
called charm.
On dates with girls I didn’t even like trying to get into pants that didn’t
even fit.

Rummaging around inside them looking for what? Had this always been
the case even before the drinking? If so, all I’d done was exchange one
addiction for another. Far from being free, the prison had just gotten bigger.
And they just sat there, protected by the romantic rules of engagement,
categorizing my attempts at fucking them. How did I compare to the guy last
night? At least he paid for dinner. And wanted children. He was taller too. I
was happy to let the gargoyle in my midriff drag me to within fucking
distance of these creatures, but even I couldn’t make myself pretend I wanted
babies.

YVETTE
Bobbing and swaying in front of my face as we ascended the steps to her
fourth-floor Elizabeth Street apartment was the real reason we’d been
together three years. Our evening stroll had been cut short by a rainstorm, so
once we got inside we shook off our wet things. We lay across her bed and
chatted. Ordinarily this would have been enough to get the ball rolling, but I
was still not confident about making a move. I had already discovered that
working for a bad ad agency required just as much energy as working for a
good one, and I had an early start the next day. If we didn’t have sex soon I’d
be forced to stay the entire night. Did she want me to leave? Time to call her
bluff. Making an overly dramatic announcement that I had better go if I was
to be in decent shape for work the next day, I began to say my good-byes to
that magnificent world-class ass.

“You hug it like it’s a separate person,” she said, thawing a little.
“You’re accusing me of having an affair with your ass, behind your
back?”
A smile.

She was pissed because I hadn’t picked up on her latest hint that we
should live together, get married, have children, and die of old age in each
other’s arms. These hints had more recently taken the form of exaggerated
street mimes. The huge overacted crazy-eyed smile she reserved for babies
was subtle compared to the impossible affection conjured up in the presence
of every old couple we encountered. Especially, for some reason, if they were
Asian. I resisted the urge to respond or acknowledge because I knew that
once the subject was brought out into the open, it could never be put back in
the box. There was no way I was going to marry her, but there was no way
I’d be allowed access to her ass if she knew this.

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