Dating & Dismemberment by A.L. Brody EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Status: Available for Free Download
- Author: A.L. Brody
- Language: English
- Genre: Horror Comedy
- Format: PDF / EPUB
- Size: 2 MB
- Price: Free
Darla Drake, aka the Duchess of Death, aka the Creature of Clear
Creek, and one of the most feared monsters on the planet, stood over her
soon-to-be victim, a cruel camp counselor named Kyle Browning, and
prepared to turn him into either a Lego set or paste, depending on what kind
of mood she was in.
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Darla raised her weapon of choice, the infamous bronze scourge that
had been passed down to her from her mother, and right as she was about to
render justice unto this unfortunate soul, Darla stopped.
She stood there, arm raised, scourge rattling in the wind, as Kyle
covered his eyes as though playing a baby game where if he couldn’t see
her, she didn’t exist.
But Darla did exist. And yet, her hand stayed.
Come on, she thought. This is not the time to have an existential crisis.
This crisis came at a particularly inopportune and frankly embarrassing
moment for Darla. Kyle was not walking away from his injuries, which, to
be fair, were largely self-inflicted, having tripped on a tree root while
attempting to flee, which bent his ankle in a way that defied human
anatomy, his toes now able to touch his shin and his dignity evaporating
somewhere into the night sky.
And while Kyle moaned, his girlfriend, a counselor named Melanie
Wootens, having apparently followed them, screamed as she saw the
Duchess of Death preparing to filet her lousy lover. Melanie turned and ran
away, screaming like her hair was on fire. Or, far more traumatizing, been
subjected to a terrible dye job.
And Darla just watched. And shrugged.
Instead of ending Kyle’s suffering and sentencing Melanie to a lifetime
of therapy, Darla stood there, unmoving, staring blankly at Kyle. For the
first time in her thirty-two years, the last twenty of which she’d spent
hunting the very worst counselors at Camp Clear Creek, Darla couldn’t
finish the job. One word pinged through her skull, topped with its infamous
bone crown that had terrified thousands of teens and sold millions of
Halloween costumes: Why?
Darla had never asked herself that question during a hunt. Hunts were
simple: find the prey. Scout the prey. Know the prey. Then turn their lives—
if not their body cavities—inside out. Up until this moment, Darla’s hunt of
Kyle Browning had gone rather swimmingly.
Kyle, along with two other counselors named Randy Horvath and Lewis
Cawthorn, had been given the moniker of the Terrible Trio based on how
they would gang up on and terrorize young campers at Clear Creek. Randy
and Kyle had returned this summer, while Lewis had been fired. Darla had
made it her mission this summer to hunt down Randy and Kyle and let them
know they wouldn’t escape with a mere slap on the wrist. And possibly not
even escape with their wrists at all. Lewis, well…there was always the
counselor reunion, and she could only pray he was dimwitted enough to
stick his neck out for her to lop it off.
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