Doubling Down by Ophelia Bell EPUB & PDF – eBook Details
- Author Name: Ophelia Bell
- Book Genre:
- ISBN #
- Edition Language: English
- Date of Publication: February 1, 2022
- File Format : PDF / EPUB
- PDF / EPUB File Size: 376 KB
What I had with the twins was never innocent, even though by
society’s standards, none of us were adults when we first started
breaking the rules. We knew what we did was wrong, which only made it
even more enticing. But we weren’t thinking, and not thinking leads to
mistakes.
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Despite knowing our actions were taboo, and despite having wallowed
in heartache ever since, I don’t think I will ever regret the things I learned
about myself that summer.
I blame myself. Maybe they blame me too; I don’t know, because I
never got a chance to talk to them after the fact. My parents were only
fostering them, two teen boys among a houseful of kids of varying ages and
backgrounds—almost all disadvantaged in some fashion.
But I was the only biological child in the mix, so it wasn’t as if my
parents would kick their own daughter out when they caught us.
The twins were seventeen and on the verge of aging out of the system. I
was only slightly older. Legally I was an adult, and testing boundaries—my
own, mostly. I could claim it was because my best friend Casey was a bad
influence, but the truth was that learning a little bit about her dark secrets
allowed me to open up the box of my own taboo desires and explore them.
That was the summer of discovery and self-condemnation, and I’m still
not quite sure how to process everything that happened. Jude and Simon ran
away before they got kicked out. My parents forbade me from taking the
summer trip Casey and I had planned as newly minted adults. And I was
stuck at home, encouraged to reflect on my mistakes while I waited for my
first year of college to begin.
But Casey had already pulled away by then, which was one of the
catalysts for what happened with the twins. By the time I called to cancel
our trip, she had more interesting things going on anyway, so she was too
distracted for me to bother filling her in on why I couldn’t go.
After that, I did the only thing I could to move on: I boxed all those
feelings back up and shoved them into a dark place, unsure whether I’d ever
look at them again.
Three Years Later
The neighborhood where my parents live is one of those places that never
changes, so when I drive home for the first summer in three years, I feel
like I’m traveling back in time. The trees lining the street might be a little
taller, but the houses look the same as I remember them.
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