Main Character Energy by Jamie Varon EPUB & PDF

Main Character Energy by Jamie Varon EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online

• Status: Available for Free Download
• Author: Jamie Varon
• Language: English
• Genre: Women’s Literary Fiction
• Format: PDF / EPUB
• Size: 2 MB
• Price: Free

Malibu, California
I have never once wanted to cancel on a Margot lunch until today.
Normally, I look forward to these visits for months, but I drive to Malibu in
standstill traffic, annoyed and wishing I didn’t have to go.
I don’t want to hear any well-meaning encouragement from her. I don’t
want her to ask me about my dreams and tell me to “do it for the plot.” I
just want to hide and avoid her. I’m at my worst right now and I’m nervous
to let her see me like that.
And then I feel guilty that I think that way.
So, I show up, plaster a smile on my face, hug her hard, and sit across
from her at our table.

The wind whips across the windows. Through the open door, I can hear
waves crashing on rocks, hard and fast and dramatic. It’s overcast, and cold,
with ominous dark clouds hovering just above the surf.
Perched right on the edge of the rocks off the Pacific Coast Highway, the
large windows make me feel as if the restaurant is on the water, a refuge in
the vast sea. Fitting, considering these secret visits with my aunt always felt
like a refuge for me.

Margot and I get the small talk out of the way quickly, as usual. She tells
me about France, where she lives, but gives away very few details. Even
after all these years, she’s still a mystery. What does she do for work? In the
past, she’s told me that she works with “artists” but has never explained
further, or allowed me to pry for details. What is her life like? I’m certain
she’s a creative of some kind, but I never get straight answers.
I try to ask her questions about herself, but she deflects. She spends an
inordinate amount of time laser focused on me, using every precious second
of our visits to impart as much wisdom as she can.

Margot sets down the fork she was using to eat our calamari appetizer. It
dings on the table with intent. She folds her hands in front of her and looks
at me without blinking.
“Okay, let’s get real,” Margot says. “How’s your writing going, Poppy?”
I take a nervous, long sip of my red wine. This is exactly why I didn’t
want to come today. Questions like this.
“It’s…not going,” I say.

Her eyes narrow at me. I don’t want to tell her that last month, I made the
difficult decision to give up on my dreams of becoming an author. It didn’t
feel like a decision as much as an eventuality, a conclusion to be drawn
after years of disappointment, failure, rejection, and years of paralyzing
writer’s block keeping me frozen in front of a blinking cursor. I have
mountains of student loan and credit card debt. I have no savings. I’ve been
trying so hard to “make it,” I never built a life for myself. At thirty-two, it
feels like the right time to give up on my dreams.

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