My Shy Alpha (MY SHY ALPHA #1) by River Kai EPUB & PDF – eBook Details Online
- Status: Available for Free Download
- Authors: River Kai
- Language: English
- Genre: Paranormal / Sci-Fi
- Format: PDF / EPUB
- Size: 7.8 MB
- Price: Free
I’m face-to-face with my therapist, whose mouth has been hanging open
for a solid minute.
I stop picking at my jeans’ threads. “So, yeah. That’s how my first
date with him went.”
Jenny’s eyebrows furrow. She reverses her legs from crossed to
uncrossed to crossed again. “I’m sorry, can we back up for a second? You
said your date turned around and…?”
“Sniffed some woman’s neck.”
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“Just some random woman?” Jenny’s bountiful, dark curls shimmy with
the rapid jut of her chin. “Did he know her?”
“That’s what I wondered too! But I don’t think so. She turned around
and said something like, ‘I’ve been waiting to meet you.’”
“And then they…?”
I wince. The woman’s heaving moans replay in my mind like the broken
porno I found lodged into Dad’s old VCR – something I’d rather not
remember but probably will until I die. “Then they went into the bathroom
and started having sex. Loud sex.”
“Leaving you to sit there, alone and confused.”
“Yeah… Pretty much.”
Jenny’s deflating shoulders hurt my heart even worse than it already
stings, validating that, yes, this is my life, and yes, I’m back at square one
in the dating world. Again.
“You’ve kept a straight face throughout the story, but I get the feeling
this was more hurtful than you’re letting on,” Jenny says.
I swallow hard. “I don’t know which part hurts more, but yeah. It was.”
“Is this about the dream again?”
“No. …No?” I shake my head hard enough to convince myself this is
separate.
Until I remember what I did for an entire hour after I got home, unable
to stop crying as I vision-boarded away my crushed hopes for the future.
And it would’ve lasted longer – if I didn’t realize I was compulsively
attempting and re-attempting to find a photo to match the sexy guy I always
meet in my recurring dream, unable to find the perfect replica of his scruffy,
squared jawline.
“Well, okay, maybe it is about the dream. But that’s not all of it. I know
some amazing guy I met in a dream will never magically show up in real
life. And I know we’ve talked about setting realistic dating expectations and
keeping my mind open. But everything has been disappointing. Like no
matter what, I’m bound to feel hurt. And after how many horrific things
have happened in my life, I’m scared that no one will ever–”
I choke back tears, unable to continue.
“Oh, honey.” Jenny hands me a tissue, and I can’t bear to look at her
aching eyes. “You’re scared that no one will ever…?”
“Love me.”
There’s a painful silence as I weep, trying to let Jenny see me upset
without hiding myself. Besides my best friend Amy, Jenny is the only
person I let see me cry.
Jenny softens her voice, leaning over her glass coffee table to rub my
shoulder. “Are you telling yourself you’re not lovable?”
“I just get the feeling that there has to be someone better out there. At
least one person? But maybe that’s unrealistic too.”
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